How to Write Your Compelling Story

By  Bess McCarty

You know that “Facts telMy Storyl, but stories sell!”

As Eric Worre says, “Just learn to tell stories, and you don’t need to learn anything else!” and “Amateurs give facts. Professionals tell stories.”

“He who tells a success story is more likely to have more. He who hears a success story is also more likely to have them. They are contagious!” ~ Bess McCarty

Stories strike the imagination. They excite! A story takes your listener to someplace they haven’t been before. They touch emotions and desires. They help them think outside their box. True stories  give them hope that they can do that too! People remember and think about those stories, and come to their own conclusions, without you having to do that.

If you’ve never sailed, but you read about it, hear about it or see a movie of it, sailing becomes more real and possible for you! The story is a BRIDGE to somewhere else, first in thought, then in reality …

I’ve been coaching network marketing clients to write their compelling stories. Stories that speak for themselves, that you love to tell, and people love to hear! So I thought I would share this with you too, how to do this. It’s important.

You should have at least 2 stories: Your product story, and your business story. So you can use whichever one applies to the person you are talking with. Write all the bad stuff that was before you found your company’s product or business, and all the good stuff after you found it. The greater the difference between the two, the better! The more dramatic, the easier to remember. The more specific, they more the listener relates.

The most important part is the PROBLEMS you had: health troubles, underpaid, long work hours, office politics, etc. This is where people connect with you, open their hearts, and see themselves.

Leave out product names that mean nothing to your prospect; they will distract from your results. Just tell your problems, how they affected your life, and the difference the product and business made in your everyday life. If you have not yet made money with the business, you can say how you now feel about your future.

Example Product Story (about 2 minutes)

“5 years ago I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I was 45 lbs. overweight. I had hypertension, high trigycerides and fatty liver. I’d wake up tired after 8 hours of sleep. I had indigestion, bloating, food cravings, anxiety, and could not focus. I thought I’d be dead soon! I tried many experts. I felt hopeless.

A friend recommended this brand, and I said, why not?? After I used it, oh my gosh! LIFE CHANGED! The acid re-flux left, I felt lighter, and I even lost a little weight. I needed to know more about these products. I started taking them. I started feeling my shirts a little loose. I lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks effortlessly, and I´m still losing. Same for my wife! We are less hungry during the day, so we eat a lot less, so we keep losing weight without diet or anything special!

But the best thing is that my blood sugar became stable! My doctor told me if I was able to reach my ideal weight, I will be off of all my medications, which is great because all medications have side effects. I´m feeling great because I will be here another 50 years and fulfill my purpose in life. I will be able to help my family live the life they deserve and other people too! This is priceless!!! These products are reasonably priced and they have given me health for the second half of my life, and I could never put a price on that.”

(Please be sure your product story follows your company compliance guidelines of what you can say.)

Example Business Story (about 2 minutes)

“A couple of years ago when I turned 40, I was suddenly hit by the realization that I had been working for 25 years, and I might be retiring in another 20. It didn’t look good.

For the first time I woke up, and I did the math. I had never thought further than 40 before! How´s it gonna be for me down the road?

I remember going to the bank at the beginning of the month. There was a line of 50 pensioners who could not wait another day to cash their check, because they did not have any money left from the past month!! Was this going to be ME?

With inflation I know my savings are losing money every year, and it´s not going to be enough for retirement. If I was sick, what would I do? Move back in with my family?? I needed to start generating some sort of residual income. So I jumped into business for myself, but I found out that with the initial investment, I had to put in long hours to try to make that back, so I became a slave of my business and I got paid last.

It didn’t work. I had to close it. Even if it had worked, it wouldn’t have been enough for retirement. I started panicking, I said, 10 years from now what will happen when I have less energy?? What will I do then?? And what will I do when I can´t work anymore?

I was facing an awful story. My future truly looked bleak.

So when I started taking these products and was offered the business opportunity, I paid close attention. I looked at it, and I realized, it could give me everything I needed! I will be able to retire with enough money, it gave me the plan and opportunity for me to make $10,000 or more per month so I could retire with no financial problems. I would have the energy to live a good life, so I pretty much could have everything, the health and the wealth.

I did the math. I see people making it big time in this company. I know I can too. I’m committed for the long run, I love the products, I know my future is going to be right now, due to a proven plan that guarantees my work will be rewarded just like all the big guys in the company.

I will be able to leave a legacy for my family, who is doing this with me. It brings us together. We are learning success principles we wouldn’t have otherwise. It will affect generations to come. We have an entirely different future, with travel in it, and improving lives of other people physically, emotionally and financially.”

Then there are training stories for your team:

* How you got your first customer
* How you got your first distributor
* A rank advancement
* A breakthrough
* A challenge you overcame, how you did it, what you had to do to get there

If you are doing a Challenge of some type, (like the 30, 60, or 90 Day Challenges I support network marketers to do) you will want to tell that story, such as:

“Let us lock arms and work together as a community to improve the lives of 2,000 people:
1) Help sick people live a quality life!
2) Help people escape their future pension line!

Let us build an organization where personal growth, mental, physical and financial health are the ultimate goal. A group of people who help each other to succeed, where the only competition we have is with ourselves, and success is for everyone!

Here’s how we will reach 2,000 people: Everyone shares this Mission and
1) shows this business to 100 people, tell your story, help them experience the products
2) show them the business videos
3) get them on a 3-way call with upline
4) bring 10 distributors to next big company convention. Help your 10 bring 10. There we will hold a Private VIP Dinner with top company leaders for the 10 people who bring the most.

Why this Mission? Because every top earner in network marketing has done this. Let’s do what works! Let’s lock arms and support each other on this amazing adventure to health and wealth freedom! Let’s carry the torch, save lives from desperation, and bring goodness. Are you with me?”


A good story excites you, and will excite them. It tells the before and after: how a problem was solved. A good story says to the listener: “And THEY were JUST LIKE YOU!”

So listen for their problems and desires. Chat long enough to know their needs. Speak to those with a story, as close to their situation as you can get. The more you relate it to them, or someone they know, or an illness or financial need just like theirs, the more it hits close to home, and they see themselves in your story.

Speak to what people desire: Freedom, health, wealth, love, to contribute to life, what else?

Collect other people’s stories too, so you can reach for just the right one for your prospect. I suggest write each on an index card and file behind the topic or category.

Get these stories from your company calls or events, or from this MLM Millionaire Club site:

The more stories you tell, the more you get paid! Richard Bliss Brooke says stories have made him millions!

Have a short 30-60 second version of your story for casual chat, longer for networking meetings.

Want to learn more? See this FREE Video Lesson:

  1. Why Stories Work and Sell for You
  2. The 3 Kinds of Stories for Your Prospects and Your Team
  3. How to Get Good Stories (including how to get testimonials)
  4. How to Tell Good Stories (including timing)



Bess McCarty

"As a coach, teacher, and healer, I help people solve problems. I uncover and address the missing core needs, thus eliminating the problems, such as fears and negative beliefs, so they can achieve in their careers, have satisfying relationships, and enjoy vibrant health.

There is nothing quite so sacred and beautiful as that moment of working with a person who has a personal and spiritual transformation, as a certain magic happens that is beyond us both."

  • Hi Bess,

    I love your sample stories, especially the line “I had never thought further than 40 before” in the business one.

    I have learned a lot from this one post. What I have found in my experiences is that without a common goal (mission) and locking arms as you have described, team members tend to get discouraged easily. Helping them to get some initial results fast is important. You stories about initial success certainly help a lot! It is a great way to inspire other less active members who may be sitting on the fence.

    Thank you for sharing, Bess! I appreciate you and your professional approach!

    Viola Tam

    • Thank you Viola Tam! I always listen when you speak, with your wisdom and love. Your team is very lucky to have you as a leader!

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